Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
