well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
