dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This is my gift to your gina
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
