Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
