I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
