So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
