Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
