I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
false alarm. still invincible.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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