plz talk dirty to me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
