That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
