No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize