im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
