god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
