it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
