Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
