What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
