Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We talked him into tasing himself.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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