Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize