What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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