His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I forgot wine drunk hurts
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
