He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
