If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
