just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
