I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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