how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
