it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
