You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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