To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize