We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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