if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
