PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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