Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
