wanna go halves on a baby?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
