My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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