idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
