Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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