I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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