Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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