i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
