would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
