We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no. you can't hotbox the world.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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