The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
