I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
