cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
