drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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