im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
