He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He better not be in your backpack
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
True strength comes from lack of pants
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
