once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
