Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
