Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
