How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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