So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
