therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
