I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
