I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
