I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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