Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
