So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
