I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
