Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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