im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i've created a new STD.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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