How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
