I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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